Revenge is a dish best served cold. But shouldn’t you let things be and move on? That’s the adult way to approach it. Yes, they broke your heart. Yes, they got custody of the puppy. And yes, they’re living their best life without you.
If matters weren’t so complicated and pettiness wasn’t your forte, you’d be able to start afresh. Honestly, where’s the fun in that? You want them to mourn their loss and what could have been.
We’re thinking, a holiday, but make it a revenge. Dakota Johnson is a case study on how to do a revenge holiday right. Following her confirmed breakup with Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, the actress and her gal pals commandeered a luxury yacht in Ibiza for a week.
Not only did the story make headlines, but Johnson also plunged the dagger deeper by being photographed wearing an itty-bitty white bikini. It’s a classic example of using what your mama gave you to even the playing field.
So, you reckon you’re up for making your ex’s jaw drop by infiltrating their social media feeds with flirty holiday pics?
San Diego, California
San Diego is the definition of “girls just wanna have fun.” The city embraces the reckless abandon aesthetic with gusto. You’ve got the beach, upmarket food joints, and a nightlife that is a next-level party paradise.
The Gaslamp District is where you want to set up a base. In the heart of downtown San Diego, this quarter offers an assortment of entertainment options. From bars and clubs to cigar lounges and comedy shows, there’s no chance of getting bored or waking before dawn.
Oh, and did we mention that no Instagram filter is required? The neon lights and vibrant colors of the district speak a language that says, “Hey, I’m having fun without you.”
A San Diego harbor cruise is another pursuit that speaks volumes. The San Diego Bay Area has more than sufficient backdrops for racking up your “likes” and “shares.” Some boats have bars onboard and game-show style activities, and show off some of San Diego’s best sights.
Cruise past the USS Midway Museum, basking sea lions, and the Coronado Bridge. Tiki Time Bay Tours suggests jumping on a harbor tour with a social day-drinking atmosphere where everyone is friends by the end of the trip.
Bali, Indonesia
A bit further from home, Bali ticks all the boxes for a laidback island vibe. The Indonesian archipelago is a favorite among couples, and yet many aren’t familiar with its “breakup” curse.
The myth went viral following the airing of the Jumpers Jump Replay podcast. According to the hosts, unmarried couples break up after visiting Bali. Apparently, several people shared their stories on Reddit.
If you can get past the social media scare tactics, Bali’s strong spiritual energy encourages you to do some introspective work. Who knows, maybe you’ll walk away feeling lighter while channeling your inner peace.
Otherwise, do as the younger travelers do and hitch a boat ride over to Gili Trawangan (Gili T). Freelance writer and blogger Justine Lopez, who runs the Travel Lush blog, says that Gili T is THE party island.
But it’s the magical sunsets most tourists come for. Come evening, islanders head west, gathering at Sunset Point to watch the sun drop behind Gunung Agung.
Atacama Desert, Chile
Sometimes, a bit of solitude is good for the soul. Or at least that’s what the folks at Refinery29 believe.
Your mind tells you to move on; your heart tells you it’s the end of the world as you know it. So, go with it and follow your mood to the Atacama Desert in Chile.
Giving Burning Man x Mad Max vibes, the isolation of being in the driest desert on the planet puts your life into perspective. Weather-beaten dunes and gaping cracks could be a metaphor for how you’re feeling right now.
But don’t give your ex the satisfaction of being privy to that information. You can still wallow in your grief with home comforts. Explora Atacama is as classy as it gets in this unforgiving environment.
The lodge sits on a 17-hectare desert estate. Blending with its dramatic surroundings, the hotel’s thoughtfully designed rooms emphasize peace and privacy. Bonus point: The Altiplanic Lagoons are a hop and a skip away.
Shoutout to My Ex
There is no greater cure for a broken heart than choosing violence, and by that, we mean revenge.
It can take many forms, from a sun-kissed holiday to a white bikini. Whatever you subscribe to, ensure your former boo is locked into their phones and checking your feeds every few days.
Give them something to stew over, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll realize that forgetting you is the greatest regret of their lives.