They call retirement the twilight years, a stage in your life set at a more leisurely pace. An opportunity to reflect on memories fragmented by time, and to focus on family, friends, and the freedom to do anything you want to.
Sounds wonderful, yet retirement doesn’t always go as planned. Recollections wane, friends pass on, and family visits become less frequent. Before you know it, you’re sitting on the verandah watching the sunset with an empty chair beside you.
Loneliness in Older Age
You were sold a dream, a blueprint for relinquishing the 9-5 hustle, and now you’d like a refund. Things don’t quite fit. You have lost a partner or a friend. Those plans you made weren’t drafted for one.
Last year, JAMA published a piece titled ‘Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults.’ Shortly before its findings were made public, the U.S. Surgeon General identified social isolation and loneliness as important public health concerns for older adults.
A national poll reported that 37% of older US adults (aged 50-80 years) experienced loneliness, and 34% felt socially isolated.
Study authors reported a connection to a higher risk of heart disease, dementia, stroke, anxiety, and depression. Improved social ties were linked with increased longevity and well-being.
Loneliness doesn’t have to be in your retirement bingo card. Rebuilding a social life is a matter of shifting gears and adjusting your approach.
Retireployment
Yes, you’ve only just retired, but what if you went back to work on your terms? This isn’t about returning to a full-time job. Rather, it’s about finding a social connection for a few hours a week.
Many home care workers are retired professionals who have chosen to take on this role because they want their golden years to have more substance and meaning.
For aging parents or loved ones, some families prefer to hire someone they trust or can rely on, and find an individual they already know when it comes to personalized care. It could be you. CareChoice Agency explains that a few companies are willing to handle the paperwork, training, and pay the caregiver.
It presents the possibility of living a life less ordinary, and the biggest gain is forging lifelong friendships.
Lunch Dates
Have you ever considered the number of retirees living on your block alone? You’d be surprised at how many people find themselves in the same boat as you.
Former attorney Orrin Onken tells Business Insider that until he joined the pension line, his wife was in charge of their social life. She’d plan parties and gatherings, but found that his ex-work colleagues didn’t visit as much as when he was working.
He wanted to make new pals and sent out invitations to his fellow retired neighbors for lunch at his place. That was a year ago, and Onken’s lunch dates and friends group have increased since then.
“The events helped me feel less isolated; I now had people whom I could call on if I was in need,” says Onken. And that’s the power of human connection. It makes you feel a part of a community built on a common goal.
Revamp Your Sense of Purpose
Licensed clinical psychologist Carrie Ditzel writes on Psyche that empty nesters experience social isolation the hardest.
Your sense of purpose dwindles when your kids go to college or move out and start their own lives. It can be devastating knowing that those who previously relied on you no longer need you as much.
This is when you should think about revamping your sense of purpose, suggests Ditzel. Find new ways to contribute to society by volunteering at the local community center or starting a social group at your church or place of worship.
Ditzel explains that the reason for each day is in your hands, and she encourages retired folks to see it as empowering.
Live Life on Your Terms
Many people view retirement as the end. It doesn’t have to be. Rather, think of it as the start of a new phase where you get to rewrite the rules.
Change up your routines and include a brisk walk after breakfast. Visit a friend for lunch. Join a gym or an art class. Be open to doing hobbies outside your comfort zone. Yes, you have the luxury of fewer chores, but Ditzel says that a lack of structure can disrupt your sleeping habits.
Keep your connections intact by communicating with friends and family via text or social media. Facebook has done a great job of building virtual friend groups. Why not join one of them?
Who knows? The twilight years could be the best time of your life.