We have all lost loved ones at some point in our life. For some people they grieve and move on. For others…it’s a grieving process that can last for years if not a lifetime. Everyone handles grief differently and on their own time schedule. We are all individuals.
A few days ago I was thinking about this and I was curious to see how many of you visit the graves of your loved ones? I know some people go at the time of burial and then never return. Others like me visit on a regular basis. There’s nothing wrong with either way.
One thing that I’ve learned throughout my marriage is that hubby deals with grief a lot differently than I do. He closes up for several weeks and then comes around. I’m totally different and need to talk about it and talk about it pretty often until I come to terms with it.
In our family we do have a few traditions when it comes to remembering loved ones who have passed. I thought I would share a few with you today.
1. We visit the graveside a few times every year. A lot of times that falls around their birthday, day they passed and/or around the holidays.
2. Charitable contributions or volunteerism. We will regularly donate to their favorite charity or we will volunteer our time with that charity to honor our loved one. You don’t need to donate much ($10 bucks will do) and you only need to volunteer a few hours a year. Plus, its a way to help others.
3. I enjoy painting rocks and large seashells. Every friend or family member who passes will get one on their grave shortly after burial. It’s just something I enjoy doing.
4. Birthday celebrations! For those who were immediate family members we like to get together to celebrate their birthdays. For example: My mother-in-law loved dining at Olive Garden every year on her Birthday and on Mother’s Day. As a family we get together at Olive Garden every year on her Birthday to celebrate her life. A cousin of mine was a big fan of going out to see movies at local theaters. Every year on his birthday we go out to see a movie in his honor.
5. We have a 3 foot Christmas Tree that we put up every year. It’s our “special” family tree. We hang ornaments on that tree to remind us of loved ones who have passed on. It’s a nice way to remember them during the tough holiday season.
How many of you do special things to remember and honor loved ones who have passed on? What kind of things do you do and how often do you do them? I would love to hear some ideas!
It is sometimes difficult to remember loved ones without getting very upset. We try to do something special for my husband’s birthday every year since he passed away.
I was just at the cemetery today. My daughter and my parents are buried on the same site about an hour away. I visit on birthdays and holidays mostly. I have a hard time dealing with death. I miss everyone so much. Sometimes my heart feels so heavy. You do have some good ideas for celebrating their lives. Love the Christmas tree. My daughter & I do go see Dave Matthews in remembrance of my daughter and her sister!
I live far from my hometown where my parents are buried. But I always visit their gravesites when I am there and bring flowers. I find it very comforting to be there. We also have a special mass said on birthdays.
My deceased loved ones are buried in the area I was born and raised in, but I live several hours from there now, so I don’t get to visit the cemetery often. When we are there, I try to take flowers to ‘decorate’ the graves.
My mother died here at home this past Saturday night, April 11th. I am broken beyond words. The funeral home says “the bodies are stacked up like firewood” here in NYC, and they have no idea when Mommy can be actually buried and have a funeral. I will tell you the truth, it wasn’t an easy death to watch, and because there was no doctor in attendance the paramedics put her cold, lifeless body on the floor and did rough CPR for 20 minutes. I am losing my mind, in all honesty.
Sorry to hear that Sandy. I’m not going to lie to you. It will be rough for awhile but then we learn how to deal with the grief and loss over time. I still think of my grandma (like a second mom to me) every day. Sometimes I still cry. I try to remember all of the good memories and push out the bad ones. Sorry for your loss.
I think of my parents each day. They are at a Veteran’s National Cemetery about 40 minutes away from my home. I try to go there at least once a year and it is very peaceful.
we visit the cemetery also. I think of them everyday. They are not here physically but are still a part of my life every day. I root for my brother’s favorite college football team. I watch their games for him.
I lost my father last July and I am not doing well at all. I still cry several times a day. My heart is broken inside my chest and it still hurts so much. I go and visit his grave several times a month still and take him flowers and talk to him. My father was a decorated Marine Vietnam War veteran and is buried at a beautiful National Cemetery here. I once heard that grief never goes away it just changes form as time goes on. I know in my heart that he has gone ahead of me to be with the Lord and I will see him again when I get there.