With hundreds of thousands of divorces taking place each year, if you’ve come to that place in your life, all you can hope for is an easy divorce.
When you watch television shows and movies, it might look like an amicable divorce is near impossible. The good news is that there are many people that come to a mutual decision that divorce is the answer to their problems.
Whether you’re going through a divorce with kids or if it’s just between you and your partner, there are still a lot of things to think about. In this article, we are going to assume you have children. Continue reading to learn how to get divorced with the least amount of drama possible.
Say Yes to Mediation
Mediation is a great way to start your split in a peaceful way. Mediation allows you to come to the table with solutions and to try to work things out without fighting.
The mediator isn’t yours or your partners. The mediator is working to bring things to a happy resolution.
If you can’t make mediation work, you may need to find a lawyer that can fight for your rights in the divorce, but it’s worth a shot.
Don’t Try to Be Too Buddy Buddy
You might think that you are the cool couple that can easily divorce without a fuss. You might think you can be best friends throughout the process, but that’s not wise.
Keep the relationship professional. You might be co-parents, but you’re no longer friends — at least not right now.
If you try to be too friendly at the beginning of the divorce, by the end, someone might be overstepping, and it might be difficult to come to a resolution.
Write a Parenting Plan Your Children Can Read
When you’re trying to make things go smoothly in the relationship, one of the most dangerous areas is around the children. You need to make sure you’re fair, but you also need to make sure your partner is fair.
As you’re working through the parenting plan, think about your children reading the parenting plan. Would you feel comfortable with them going through each detail?
Does it sound like you have the children’s best interests at heart? Imagine how your children are going to feel reading the parenting plan and change it as needed.
Say No to Verbal Agreements
Even if things are going well, you shouldn’t depend on verbal agreements. People forget very easily when they get mad.
If you can make the agreement verbally, you can take the time to write it down and get your mediator or lawyer to help you put it together.
Decide What Happens When You Disagree
Disagreements are going to happen. Having a disagreement doesn’t have to mean that you’re going to be enemies now. Having a disagreement just means you’re going to have to figure out how to deal with these disagreements so you can stay peaceful.
Determine What Happens When Someone Breaks the Rules
After you’ve already set the rules, there have to be consequences when someone breaks them. Writing out what happens before it happens is going to make it less likely that someone is going to break the rules. And if they do break the rules, they know what is going to happen and won’t be surprised.
Don’t Fall Into Old Patterns
Whether you’ve been married for two years or twenty years, you’ve got a lot of habits that are intertwined with your partner. These old patterns are going to try to keep you in the same routines — but you’ve got to get out of them.
Old patterns can take your divorce off the tracks and stir up old feelings and aren’t returned by one of the parties. You might be tempted to have divorce sex or to confide in your partner, but you should stay away from this at all costs.
Neither of you is obligated to be there for the other one throughout this divorce, no matter how nice you’re trying to be during the process.
Find another support team for when you’re going through your divorce so you can call these people instead of talking to your ex about your feelings and needs.
Demonstrate Your New Family Dynamic
Now that you’re separated, you need to show the children how things are going to be. They need to know they still have two parents that love them.
Try going out to eat in public at a restaurant so they can see you can get together and be nice to each other without being together. Your kids likely want you to get back together, but seeing you being good co-parents even when you’re not together is going to put them at ease and keep them from worrying as much or trying to get you back together.
It’s Time for Your Easy Divorce
Now that you know more about how to make your divorce an easy divorce, it’s time to do your best to put these tips into action. There are always going to be some unexpected things that come into play, but now you’ll be able to do your best to deal with them gracefully.
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