Good morning everyone! Well, it has been a long night and I haven’t went to bed yet. I plan on crawling into bed hopefully early this afternoon. As many of you know, I am a care-giver to my 89 year old great auntie who is like my grandmother. She helped my single mother raise my brother and me. We are extremely close and she never had any children of her own & practically raised my mother since my grandmother died at a young age.
Today’s topic is something a little different and something I have wanted to discuss here on our blog for a long time. Today is the day! Great auntie has been living in the assisted living wing at the nursing home for almost 2 years now. We are still responsible for providing 75% of her care. With that said, I need to talk to you all about something that is extremely important.
We all live very busy lives and I completely understand that. However, I do NOT understand how families can drop loved ones off at nursing homes and only come in to see them a few times every year, mostly around the holidays! What the hell is that about people? Really? If you think this doesn’t go on often, I am here to tell you that it is an EPIDEMIC! It happens it large numbers and it needs to stop!!!
Between myself, my mother and my aunt…we go in to see auntie several times a week! We are very involved in her care and she gets visitors at least 3 times a week. Sure, on some days she isn’t aware we are there and on others she is. We are doing the RIGHT thing and being very involved & not just showing up around the holidays or when we can “fit” her in. That is ridiculous and crapola!
Yes, we lead very busy lives! I run 4 businesses and work 50 hours a week. My husband is busy and works 55 hours a week. We are all busy!!! However, she is LOVED and it is our responsibility to be in there at least twice if not three times a week between the four of us we get it done. We don’t believe in dropping off our loved ones into a facility and making them someone else’s problem! That is just plain WRONG!
Every week when we go in there we find more and more seniors who are there who haven’t seen friends or loved ones in months! What the hell is that about? I would say that at least 65% if not 70% of the patients/residents in there don’t get regular visitors and that is WRONG!!!
Even if you don’t have a loved one in a nursing home you can still help! Help to end this epidemic by volunteering your time. These loved ones love it when volunteers come in to read to them, build puzzles with them, play games or just sit with them to watch a little TV. These little things mean the world to them! If you can spare an extra hour or two every month, I really encourage you to spend it with some seniors at a local facility to you. We need to end this epidemic today!!!
Getting off my soap box now but I really hope that my “words” will help people to make the right decisions and hopefully we can make a difference even if it is a small one.
You are so right about people being abandoned in nursing homes. I was my mother’s caregiver for the last few years of her life, and she spent one month in a nursing home. She was terrified at the prospect, but she needed the extra nursing care before she could come home from a hospital stay. During that month, I was with her every day, at least once. On work days, I stopped on my way to and from work. On days off, I was there as much as possible. It broke my heart to see the people with no visitors. One woman in particular would wave to me; she was unable to speak, but we greeted each other every day. After my mom died, I wanted to start visiting that lonely woman but I was a real mess and it wouldn’t have done either of us any good.
Since then, I’ve looked into volunteering, but most places require training and have assignments and other requirements that make it just too difficult if not impossible. Too bad, because there really is a need.
Your topic is very important, and I agree. It’s unthinkable to me how people can just ignore their loved ones….in nursing homes or not. It’s so sad to see seniors, people in hospitals, home-bound….when they have no one. I remember when my grandma was in the nursing home, and my mom going daily to care for her. There was another lady near her who was wonderful, but her family never visited. My mom, daughter, and I started visiting and bringing her peppermints and puzzles. We all need someone. My daughter gets names from a home-bound care center at Christmas and sends cards to everyone. It is just nice to let them know that they are someone. They are important and cared about.
Very nice rant you had there. Thanks for sharing it!
I started my nursing career as an aide in a lovely rehab/nursing home in Fort Collins, CO. I always volunteered for holiday work since I lived far away from my family and I was shocked at how few of their family members showed up, even at Christmas. I could write a book here and it’s a topic near and dear to my heart. Maybe more light will be shed on this issue since we’ll soon have the largest part of the population facing the crisis of senior care.
Congratulations to the 2 winners.
I agree with you completely about the seniors who have been deserted by their families. When my mother was very ill my brother and I decided to keep her at home. He lived there and I came over at least once or twice a week. Perhaps it is partly because the families feel guilty for leaving parents in nursing homes, but not visiting just makes it worse, I don’t understand it and can”t explain it. Maybe one could ask a news station to report on nursing homes.
I agree with you so much on this topic! I was given the chance to put my Father in a assisted living facility, but I just could not. My Dad is 83 years old and has dementia. I take care of him all by myself. I can not say that it is not hard at times. Do you know that he has 7 other children and not one of them will offer to help him!!! I have asked! This makes me so mad. They do not even visit him. They do not give him cards or presents for any of the Holidays. Don’t you think that this is so awful. My disabled sister who I also take care of, tries to help. I think it is awful to desert a parent in their time of need!! In the past, I visited the elderly in Nursing Homes, but now I do not have the time.